


Once Upon a Time There Was Porn

by mckays_girl



Series: The Moral of the Story [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Adult Content, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-17
Updated: 2006-06-17
Packaged: 2018-09-27 12:57:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10021658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mckays_girl/pseuds/mckays_girl
Summary: Rodney stared at him in disbelief. “So, what . . . give one blowjob and call you in the morning?”





	

**Author's Note:**

> By popular demand, here is the sequel to The Moral of the Story.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta lishel_fracrium! All mistakes are mine.

"What?" John asked in a voice that was suspiciously Rodney-like. He furrowed his brow and tried his voice again. "Rodney," he asked, "why do I sound like you?"

Rodney gawked for a moment before answering. “John, I think we have a problem. No, actually, I know we do.”

John caught his reflection on screen of Rodney’s laptop. Piercing blue eyes, crooked lips and defiant chin all gaping back at him. He jumped up and looked at the scientist accusingly. “McKay,” he growled, “what did you do to me?”

Rodney glared at him indignantly, zipping up his pants. “What did *I* do to *you*? You were the one who couldn’t keep his hands or mouth to himself.”

John narrowed his eyes. “And you were the one who was all ‘Colonel, I need you to come to the lab and touch something’”, he mimicked. “Besides, I didn’t hear *you* complaining.”

It was then that Zelenka walked into the lab. He stopped in his tracks and dropped his empty coffee mug when he beheld the sight of two Rodneys. The sound caused both men to jerk their heads towards the door.

“Oh, um . . . hi Radek,” Rodney babbled. “We’ve, um, run into a little situation here.”

“Little,” John contested.

At the same time Radek asked “We?”

Rodney shot John a dirty look and shuddered when he received the same look back.

“Colonel Sheppard seems to have, ah, become . . . me.”

Radek sighed and relaxed. “Oh, for a moment I was worried that you cloned yourself. So, what did you touch now,” he asked critically.

“That,” John pointed to the object on Rodney’s desk.

“What is it supposed to do?” the Czech inquired, thoughtfully.

“If I knew that, don’t you think I would be trying to fix this instead of wasting my time talking to you,” Rodney huffed, hands waving wildly in the air. John rolled his eyes.

“You should not go around touching things if you do not know what they do.”

“Has that ever stopped him before,” John drawled. Rodney folded his arms across his chest, ignoring the comment.

“Maybe we should call Dr. Beckett and Dr. Weir for help,” Zelenka suggested.

Rodney shifted on his feet uncomfortably. “Yeah, I guess we should.”

***

Ten minutes later they were both sitting on cots in the infirmary, holding cotton to the site where Carson had drawn their blood. John swung his feet and looked down, feeling like he just got called into the principal’s office. 

The Scott eyed them warily as he entered the room. “Well John,” he informed them, “your DNA hasn’t been changed in any way. I’m not really sure how, exactly, the device is causing you to look like Rodney. Dr. Weir and Dr. Zelenka are searching the database to try and find out what the machine does.”

As if on cue, Elizabeth and Radek entered the room. “Well,” she said, “I haven’t finished the translation yet, but I wanted to give you guys an update.” John and Rodney watched her expectantly. “The device is for couples that want to spend time in each other’s shoes, so to say. It’s supposed to be a tool for helping them to appreciate each other. The database mentions something about the exchanging of fluids.”

“Oh, bloody hell Rodney, what did you do, spit in the Colonel’s coffee as some juvenile prank.” Carson glared at him.

For a second Rodney looked exasperated, then sheepishly he glanced from John to Carson to Elizabeth to Radek and then back to John, searching for a way out of the question. Instead he focused on his feet, hands wringing nervously. “Not exactly,” he muttered

Carson’s jaw dropped; Elizabeth blushed and turned away.

Radek snorted and without missing a beat he added “So I take it this exchange was only one way?” Elizabeth bit her bottom lip to prevent the smirk that threatened to escape.

They stood there looking stupidly at each other for a few minutes. All of a sudden Carson blurted out, “I have an idea! What if you guys, um,” he paused blushing, “you know, did what you did, only the other way around?”

Rodney stared at him in disbelief. “So, what . . . give one blowjob and call you in the morning?”

“Rodney,” John hissed.

“Colonel, as highly as I think of myself, I’m greatly disturbed by the idea of giving myself a blowjob.”

***

They sat on the bed in Rodney’s quarters with the contraption on the nightstand next to them. “This is ridiculous,” Rodney muttered, and then a little louder, “okay, let’s get this over with.” The both stripped efficiently, dropping their clothes into a pile on the floor. “John, if you don’t mind, I’m going to keep my eyes closed for this.”

“Sure Rodney, no problem.”

“And don’t speak. It seriously creeps me out.”

John sighed and sat back down on the bed. Rodney sank onto his knees and settled himself between John’s legs. As far as blowjobs go, this wasn’t his best. It was fast and messy and a little awkward since they both had to keep a hand on the ancient device. Sooner then he expected, John was coming, Rodney was swallowing and the artifact was glowing with a faint green light.

“Rodney,” John whispered.

The scientist looked up and was relieved to be staring into hazel eyes again. “Oh thank god,” he said, arms reaching around John’s waist.

***

Twenty minutes later, John paraded into Dr. Beckett’s office. “Tada,” he announced, “I’m me again.”

Carson took one look at the smug grin on the man’s face and shook his head. “Glad to have you back Colonel. How about you and Rodney keep away from the toys for a little while?” He gave the soldier a wink and left the room.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at [http://www.wraithbait.com/viewstory.php?sid=7533&textsize=0&chapter=2](http://www.wraithbait.com/viewstory.php?sid=7533&textsize=0&chapter=2)  



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